Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: trust

Lonelier Now

I’m lonelier now than I’ve ever been before

yet everything is back to normal.

but now I know that I’ll never be with you

and my heart is dying, slowly, slowly, slower than everything

my soul is hiding behind it’s own shadow

and I am lying dead on the street

you were the one that I loved, or so I thought

I’m lying drowned in a pool of tears

don’t leave no one can die from a broken heart,

because i did, my body is still here

my mind is here to but what’s the use

my heart and soul are dead, shot, forgotten

all by loves twisted since of humor. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry

I couldn’t live as friends. now I pay the price

but did you have to do me this way, painful and cruel

or could you have let me down easy so I had a chance to come back

I don’t trust anymore. because I trusted you

and trusting you led me to my death

so I live alone, un-trusting, cold and bitter

but you will never know it was all because of you so what good is it, what does it matter it doesn’t anymore,

but you do know that we will never be the same again

and that is all you will know

~Dan

Limbo

It feels like I’ve lost in a game

that I didn’t even have a turn.

My heart still bleeds

and eyes still burn.

I just didn’t know

that our feelings would never coincide.

I guess that’s my fault,

I kept mine hidden too deeply inside.

It seems after so many downfalls

all that’s left is rain.

Just a feeling of never ending pain.

How can you put yourself out there

to just be given back?

Matters of the heart just never seem

to be on the right track.

You spend your entire life making people happy

just to never be satisfied.

I miss the feeling of innocence,

not knowing the meaning of pain.

When there were no ulterior motives,

no heartaches to gain.

A friend is a friend

and one till the end.

Till something comes by

and the stakes are claimed.

Feelings of betrayal

but no one to take the blame.

They’ve covered their tracks,

they paved them with shame.

You build your life with dreams

to have them ripped away.

Taken by the bitter hearted

not knowing what they’ve started.

Well this is my story,

it’s sad but it’s true.

You can’t trust that person

unless that person is you.

 

C.M.L.

Inside Outed

If you ever want to see
Just how much you mean to me
Take a ride within my mind
I’ll show you how your love feels kind

Discover all I want to be
And see my vast transparency
Take notice of what you walk by
You’ll see how my life’s strange – and why

While strolling through my corridors
You’ll see my pride there on the floor
‘Cause long ago I dropped it there
Assuming someone really cared

When gazing at my sordid past
You’ll find that nothing ever lasts
No friendship, laughter, love or smile
Lasts longer than a little while

You spot a room where trust is stored
Investigate beyond its doors
The little boy that’s cries out loud
Feels broken promises they vowed

But walking past my memories
You’ll find a time when I felt free
Not shackled by my losses great
No bruises from the ones that hate

And then there’s places deep inside
Where thoughts of love – they cannot hide
You’ll wander past them then you’ll see
Just take some time, and take in me

A shining light now guides you close
To where my joy resides the most
You turn the corner with wide eyes
You see yourself to your surprise

You represent the joy I’ve had
Start playing with times I was glad
You’ll skip along just having fun
You’ll laugh and smile before it’s done

It’s time to go now, you’re all done
Sometimes we have to end the fun
But don’t think it’s a sadder time
Just know that someday — YOU’LL BE MINE

 

Comments:

I wrote this poem at an extremely lonely period in my life. It touches on disappointment and loss along periods in my life, as well as portraying hope that I had within a certain person that we would become close friends.

I wrote it as a sort of warning to her, that I was damaged goods and it wouldn’t be a walk-in-the-park with me at an emotional level. I have been damaged badly, and for the most part, from circumstances and actions not of my doing. The poem was supposed to be a clever and entertaining (in my mind) way to give her a heads-up about my emotional baggage, but at the same time it was supposed to shed light on the fact that no matter how lonely I am, I still reserve energy to make the best of things. It was supposed to show her that I still have more than enough capacity to love, show respect, and to share on an equal basis. . . .Or so I thought.

The poem wasn’t well taken by her. She immediately saw me as “troubled”, because “40 year-old men aren’t supposed to be that emotional and fragile, they’re supposed to have gotten over all of that by now.” . . . . . . I was devastated. The relationship fizzled-out not too long after that. No matter how up-beat and positive I was for her, she always had it in the back of her head that I was damaged. Irreparably. She felt that I would need someone who must coddle me and constantly validate my self-esteem. No matter how much I stayed away from the subject to move on and just enjoy life as it came, never concentrating on the past, she just had changed.

Apparently she had been with someone who was emotionally damaged before, and went through hell with him. She an independent woman, who was financially more than just comfortable, and wanted a care-free life. And I don’t blame her, I would want the same if I had the chance, especially if I had gone through tough times with an “un-stable” man (woman in my case), as she had. So I let her go.

But this piece means a great deal to me, for it exposes the hope I have within me. It is true that I am depressed, it is true that I am lonely, it is true that I have no one in my life – not even family. But I have hope, and I am always willing to be open and honest and sharing to another. Human Being, especially a romantic interest. I believe in communication for the reasons of properly dealing with past issues, to put them to bed so to speak, resolve them and move on, so there’s so surprises – no secrets between two lovers – so they have nothing weighing them down. Communication is the absolute key to a relationship, and that’s what the spirit of this poem is about – unfettered, unrestricted communication, and just how much this certain person lit my life up t the time.

I hope someone, at least one person – gets something out of this. I’m not sure if it will be put up in the list of poems, but I hope it does.

Hollow

By Raven

It is a Hollow I cannot fill,

I pine for it,

But I do not belong, anywhere.

I watch groups of friends interact,

Smile, laugh, kiss, dance,

It hurts so badly as I realise want to be a part of it so much,

I want to laugh without a care in the world,

I want to have days where we get together and just talk about the things we love.

I want days where we just mess about and do nothing,

I want to be able to give and receive hugs and kisses,

I want to be capable of love, of trust,

But I understand that, it is not to be.

I am always looking in from outside,

Standing on the edge smiling pathetically to myself,

Living vicariously through those that I watch,

Spending evenings imagining myself as a part of those groups,

Tears coursing down my cheeks as I smile dreaming of the things I can never have,

Taking a sadistic pleasure in gathering as many memories of those forbidden pleasures,

Of comfort, of happiness and love,

I cannot stop watching for fear of drowning in the depression of a realisation where I truly understand that I am denied the very things I spend my days viewing.

Alone I stand outside that dirty window peering in.

Even if I could gather up the courage to knock on the glass and ask to be let in, I would fall short.

Because in my world, although there is a window, there is certainly not….

A door.