Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: sleep

Loneliness

Loneliness is the limbo land between ‘Don’t call me anymore.’ and ‘Nice to meet you.’
Loneliness is washing the same 1 plate and cup and knife and fork over and over again.
It is never using Your mug, in case You come back.

It’s a 4am glass of water at the kitchen sink in his t-shirt, Wondering if he ever stands alone,
half naked and vulnerable,
woken from a nightmare and thinking of me.

It’s hyper vigilant, on the nightwatch,
waiting for the dawn to break so that you can finally let go of yesterday and sleep your way through a new day,
because it still counts as long as you can mark it on the calendar,
another day closer to becoming the person that you aren’t right now.

Loneliness is wanting to call but having nothing new to say,
So you type it out and file it away,
With the love letters he was never ready to receive.

Loneliness is not speaking to a single soul all day
and so you talk outloud before answering the phone so it doesnt come out as a croak,
too soft or too loud,
because in your silent vigile to spinsterdom,
you’ve forgotten just how to use your own voice.

Loneliness is lighting a candle to your former self, wondering if she’s still out there somewhere patiently waiting.

It is the box of love letters,
and cards and relationships lost at sea,
which scream at you from the corner of the room,
that you were once loved.

Loneliness is the sharp stab in your heart,
in the moments between you drying the kitchen knife and pushing it into the knife block,
the shadow behind that voice that whispers, please don’t!
Put the knife down!

Loneliness is me without you,
abruptly and roughly torn apart.
Loneliness is me lost inside,
aware of how loud my breathing is,
noticing how it echoes around me like an empty ballroom once filled with chatter and excitement and romance.

Loneliness is me staring into a mirror and seeing there is something missing behind my eyes,
which tear up with tides of broken shards of my glass heart, each one whispering ‘I miss you’ as they roll down my cheeks and onto my chest,
my body trying to cleanse myself of you,
while I try to force them back,
to fill in the empty spaces where you and I used to be.

 

 

Girl_Interacting

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The Forgotten Dragon

Once there was a Dragon
He was forgotten
No one think of him
No one dreamed of him
No one thought of him
No one knew if he existed
No one cared for him
No one loved him
Hes always alone in the woods
Living in a small cold cave
Always staying in the dark
Filled with sorrow and pain
Filled with hate
Empty with love
Wanting to be loved
Wanting not to be hated anymore
Wanting to be happy
Wanting to be remembered
Wanting to be thought of
Wanting to be dreamed about
Wanting to be thought of
But hated by every heart
Making it hard to sleep
Looking at the moon makes him cry
The moon light only lights up a little
Wishing he would be layed to peace
Wishing to be freed
Wishing the pain to end
Hoping for someone might care
Hoping to find some love
Hoping to be remembered
Hoping for a miricle someday
It never came.

Written by the Forgotten Fox on 14th January 2006

My Heart Will Always Be Yours

I feel like I’m getting sucked into a black hole

The life I live is no longer my own

I see strangers wandering along my path of misery

I used to have a reason, a reason to stay

In this rat infested place we call earth

But when you said goodbye

All my hope and desires just went away

I can’t sleep, I try to close my weary eyes

But all I can think about is you

I can’t help wondering how things would’ve been

If I only just said what I felt, deep inside…

But I tell you now; even I know it’s too late

My love for you is the only thing that kept me standing

Now I’m tired, still standing in line

Waiting till my time has come

The day you said goodbye, my heart was ripped apart

There were times I thought things were getting better

Times I thought I could love another

But they all turned out the same

The girl got hurt and I stood alone, once again

If I would only get one more chance

If you’d only know what I felt for you

Things might be turned out differently

But I feel my end is getting near

So I can only hope we meet again

Not in this life but in the next

Where we can begin a fresh start

My love for you is eternal and shall forever last

Now I say goodbye and wait for you

On the other side

Breath of Darkness

It never seems that i’ll get a break
from the sadness that fills my life
always falling even further than before
when i thought i couldn’t drowned any more
gasping for air I search to find my soul
surrounded by nothing and reaching for something
but there is no search light to help me see
maybe it’s because there is nothing there for me
loneliness seems to be the only thing in store for me

I’m drifting through the sea of darkness
drowning and clawing out at nothingness
dreaming of better days that never come
remembering past lives that came undone
unglued and lost pieces of a puzzle
a picture of a perfect life fades away

I sleep and i dream of nightmares
to wake up to a living hell
surrounded by mistakes and lies i tell
myself it will be ok even though
I know that nothingness will evoke my
soul
again

a life preserver is nowhere in sight
so i take a deep breath of darkness
and i drowned to feel something

Insomnia

Sleep, come soothe my broken world

But I know, you won’t visit me when you’re told

Come sleep of my childhood

When hours on end

Up on trees, on mountains, in fileds

With friends I spent.

Even then, they were the birds,

they were books, beloved

flowers, and vampires from old folk tales

and countless dreams

of how my world could be.

Now time, continuous, lingers by

Dripping its course with venom

Numbing the soul and desire.

I fall in the vastness of the universe

Not shining as a star

But sinking in a black hole

Of forgetfullness,

Remembering all.

Tortured by night and by day

Wondering who am I.

A collection of talents and university degrees and post degrees?

A mirror shows me

a picture of someone familiar.

who is it?

Still a child, singing itself to the sleep that won’ t come.

Is it exile from my land?

no, an exile from the living.

A connection broken

Long before I was born.

An exile in time, a desert of mind.

So much to know, so much to do

Yet I fret, give up.

In the wee hours

everything i let unravel,

all becomes loose ends

Going nowhere.

It begins to dawn

Morning light of no hope

that the new day could bring.

only the infinity of this void that so terribly stings.

the night that joins the day,

and another night and day.

Endless cycle of desolation

and despair.

Come sleep.

 

Beautiful

They say it is beautiful

this country, the people,

why don’t I have eyes to see?

yet sometimes i glimpse it,

a rare comet burning

so quick to disappear.

Feelings of yearning

Pain left behind

the sparks of this

astral trail.

 

Adriana (Romania-Australia)