Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: hurt

My Black Hole

Not worth my tears,

Not worth my blood,

Yet, I still cry,

Yes, I still cut.

 

I feel so alone,

Just me, myself and I,

I always thought that was ok,

Turns out to have been a lie.

 

I know what I wanted to happen,

On this family holiday,

To spend some time alone with you,

Your face and actions scream stay away.

 

We should have had that talk,

Before we boarded the plane,

You didn’t want to do that though,

Didn’t notice I was in pain.

 

I know that I caused what you did,

You put up with me for long enough,

But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to me,

Cheating? That was just rough.

 

I have never liked lies in any form,

The truth hurts but in a different way,

Now I question every single thing,

What you do and what you say.

 

Sitting in the back of this car,

Crying very quietly,

Our daughter and your mum on my left,

You driving and your dad in front of me.

 

Our boys are with your uncle,

Your brother’s driving them in the other car,

I am here all by myself,

Stupidly I didn’t think about it being so far.

 

I know its a few thousand miles,

Only for a couple of weeks,

It was way too soon to attempt this,

I’m praying my tears leave no streaks.

 

So what happens when we get home?

You’ve got her and I’ve got the kids,

You will continue to lie and to hurt me,

Truly, you are a shit.

 

I know you have a lot on your plate,

Losing your job and maybe your home,

I’m the last person you want to think about,

You think I just bitch and moan.

 

Even after all you have done,

I miss you more and more,

I know that you don’t want me,

My being the mother of your kids must be such a bore.

 

There is another man,

An interested party,

He sounds quite safe and better still,

He thinks he could like me.

 

For all my dislike of lies,

I haven’t been entirely honest,

I neglected to mention my disability,

My depression? That’s just a bonus.

 

I will come clean before we meet,

Of that I have no doubt,

To meet before I drop that bombshell,

Would be uncomfortable should he wish to back out.

 

I ‘met’ him on a dating site,

We exchanged numbers and started to text,

It seems we have a lot in common,

On paper, he could be perfect.

 

I thought I was ready to meet,

Someone new, to try to love again,

Unfortunately, I’m still head over heels,

With the man who chose to walk away?

 

Is it just me being stupid?

He picked her more than once,

He truly doesn’t want me,

I have to stop being such a dunce.

 

I have to toughen up now,

It’s been two years that I’ve been alone,

I really didn’t think I would manage,

I don’t usually cope well on my own.

 

This has to be the end now,

Life is too damned short,

He’d still be cheating on me now,

If only he hadn’t been caught.

 

He comes out smelling of roses,

Like washing powder, whiter than white.

Well if that’s how it is going to be,

Then I’ll have to be alright.

 

Alright is exactly what I will be,

I have to be and that’s that,

I’m a dog person anyway,

Not going to be the lady with more than one cat!!

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Poems by Pooja Lokhande

FORGOTTEN

Deeds done wrong, smiles unfaltered,
Lies buried deep inside her soul,
She walks an undecided path,
She drags herself out alone.

Memories; so fresh, so new,
She smells their richness in the air,
Oh yes her heart was always true,
Yet she finds herself in despair.

Dropped, shaken, hurt, abused,
She looks at her own reflection,
Thinks of things she was accused
Of, and surrenders herself to their misconceptions.

Liars they are, the people around,
Huge lies they spin each day,
She tries to find her way out,
But she’s stuck inside, to her dismay.

She cries for the part of her soul she lost,
She cries for all her goals, unbeaten,
She cries for their promises, false,
She cries as she lay forgotten.

**********************************************************************************************************

WIPED ME OUT.

Push me more, what’s the point,
I’m already gone you see,
Just a shadow, a form of clouds,
There’s nothing more I can be.
Hurt me more, what’s the point,
You can’t hurt the dead you see,
It’s just another scratch, another wound,
It’s nothing new to me.
Drop your voice, I won’t fight back,
I’m already too tired, too weak,
I’m laying still, just make your choice,
I’ve already ceased to exist.
You stole my will, my desire to live,
You destroyed my absolute being,
No more to think, no one to be,
You destroyed what I could be.
Push me more, what’s the point,
I’m already gone you see,
Just YOUR shadow, the form YOU want,
You have crushed the real me.

Confession

So here I am again,

Standing on the line,

Of what’s real or vain,

You’re so distinct,

Dear loneliness you found me,

Between the lines of eternity and my soul. 

The sun is here, 

But it feels so cold.

My shadow is reflecting,

And my hairs are floating.

” I’m use to it it’s fine, to be hurt, to be left, and every single hope I said are just memories in my head.”

I want to break,

I want to cry,

And hold into your hand.

I beg you,

I beg you,

Don’t leave me. 

” I’ll be good “

I promise.

I just want someone to love

And never let go.

What should I do,

To make you see.

I’m so desperate,

To feel a gentle hand,

On my head.

I don’t mean anything,

To anyone.

And those words let you see,

How pitiful I really am.

Loud Silence

What can I do when the silence sets in

So deafening I can hear my heart beat

Its more frightening than it has ever been

Once again I retreat

 

 

From life, filled with shame and a tear

Needing a hug a friendly face, a smile

Needing someone near

Even if it’s only for a while

 

 

I shout Hey I’m nice, loving and kind !

Nobody’s listens and even the silence is too loud

So what’s the point of trying to find

A place to belong, to feel proud

 

 

Of who I am and how far I have come

The highest of hills and the deepest of seas

Impossible to imagine for some

That I did it all, survived, with ease

 

 

But the price I pay is steep

Lost myself, but make others smile

Me, the fighter, inside I weep

Longing to belong, if only for a while

 

 

I despise the silence but it comforts me as well

Safe from hurt, I ignore the chains

And the emptiness, no one can tell

That I feel this way, that the longing remains

 

 

Why can’t they see that I’m good and loving and kind ?

I guess it’s me who blocks their view

The one thing I’m looking for I can’t seem to find

What the Hell am I going to do ??

 

 

I open doors and lead the way

To my heart, my soul , me !

But no one never seems to stay

I look around , no one I see

 

 

I must be doing something wrong

To end up in the place I am

Too difficult , too weak, too strong?

I’m trying the best I can

 

 

To make others stay, to show I care

It works for a while and I am free!

But when I look again, nobody’s there

Yeah, it’s my fault I guess, it must be………

 

 

My Silent Death

It’s moving, but It’s not me
I’m afraid, but I can’t see
They’re here, I know they watch
I hear the noises, no one listens, no one talks
I feel them taking over, it hurts to breath
but I can’t tell, no one believes
but it all will end with silence, it won’t be my heart
it’s my silent death
forever apart.
L.C. 2007