Web of Loneliness Poems

By Raven

It is a Hollow I cannot fill,

I pine for it,

But I do not belong, anywhere.

I watch groups of friends interact,

Smile, laugh, kiss, dance,

It hurts so badly as I realise want to be a part of it so much,

I want to laugh without a care in the world,

I want to have days where we get together and just talk about the things we love.

I want days where we just mess about and do nothing,

I want to be able to give and receive hugs and kisses,

I want to be capable of love, of trust,

But I understand that, it is not to be.

I am always looking in from outside,

Standing on the edge smiling pathetically to myself,

Living vicariously through those that I watch,

Spending evenings imagining myself as a part of those groups,

Tears coursing down my cheeks as I smile dreaming of the things I can never have,

Taking a sadistic pleasure in gathering as many memories of those forbidden pleasures,

Of comfort, of happiness and love,

I cannot stop watching for fear of drowning in the depression of a realisation where I truly understand that I am denied the very things I spend my days viewing.

Alone I stand outside that dirty window peering in.

Even if I could gather up the courage to knock on the glass and ask to be let in, I would fall short.

Because in my world, although there is a window, there is certainly not….

A door.