Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: ghost

Cenel’s Island

there’s a pretty twist in my bed
humming implements of incredible sex.
it’s the one that sends the waves to drown dancing tongues
to serenade the song of chemistry we composed.
and it kills the negative things.
it can kill anything, but not this wonderful being.
i stare at demise
tender and blind
experiencing life in the abstracts of your kind.
kicking death and trying to remember you’re under my wing.

so what’s behind this new face with dim eyes?
it’s beautiful.
I’ve arrived at an island for a ghost.
does the stimulation make your floral float
and eliminate the emptiness you felt once I shook your ship?
does it make your carrier swing?
can it make the aquarious sing?
I’m gonna try to taste it…

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Poems by MPK

The Enemy Within

The walls are crumbling…

distant cannons are rumbling,

the silence is screaming in my head,

the streets are deserted, but for the dead.

Why am I here all by myself?

Why have I been left here so bereft?

No one here to fight at my side,

the enemy approaches, nearly inside.

Why did everyone desert their posts?

Their armor here for none but ghosts.

My comrades lie here all alone,

on the streets made of crimson stone.

The stores are all burning, their fires fraught,

with reflections of battles we all fought.

For pride and spoils all was lost,

peace and honor were the cost.

The enemy is here, he’s at the gate,

I’m all alone now to meet my fate.

My captors are storming the great stone walls,

I hear their footsteps and their calls.

Where do I go now, where do I hide,

no mercy is left for me to abide.

The enemy is upon me, I feel the heat,

of their eyes upon me, pure hatred to meet.

My heart beats faster to a flutter,

panic arises, my throat to shutter.

Where once I was strong,

no hope can last long.

The enemy is here, no longer afield,

battlements no longer able to shield,

Where once was strength, no longer can be,

as the enemy is here, and it is in me.

-MPK

 

 

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My Heart Hurts

“My heart hurts” sounds like such a simple phrase,

but it’s meaning to me is great.

This phrase my last attempt to cry out

from the anger and hurt that won’t abate.

Not a very good descriptive

but the only one I have to explain,

the knots in my stomach moving up

to choke the air in my throat again.

“My heart hurts” is all I can tell the docs.

They look at me and try to see,

never realizing how true and

powerful this simple statement can be.

How long I have been fighting

these demons and anguish unseen?

How long can I live in this world

of charred remains of the old me?

‘Tis not the song of a lark in the morn,

but a cry from the dark within,

from my inner self so empty,

yet so full of anger to oblivion.

A locked Pandora’s box

riding heavily on my back,

tarnishing my heart and soul

in shades of green and black.

“My heart hurts”

Tis not a punishment for my beliefs,

Just pain unimaginable

piercing without mercy or relief.

My heart hurts is all I can say…

in hopes of keeping this horror at bay…

My heart hurts is all I may say…

to make it through another day…

My heart hurts is all I will say…

before I decide whether to go or stay.

–          mpk

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The Thief

This life I live seems bleak, and only but a lie,

these potent feeling overwhelm, and will not be denied..

I casually greet people living all around me, or so I make it seem,

but deep inside, my thoughts are raging, and swirling all around..

He came upon me when I was defenseless and so very fragile,

and stole my tender dreams, my control and all my power.

I tried and tried to fight and find some hidden weapon,

but in the end, he wore me down..retreat my only option.

I sit here on the edge, looking out and try to see,

The sunlight, mists and moonbeams; their beauty calls to me.

Sometimes I catch a feather, an angel dropped in passing.

I search deep inside my soul for truths not misbegotten,

Why can’t I be content with life just as it is?

Why does love elude me along with simple peace?

Sometimes it feels as if there just no more hope,

each day I have to struggle, for another way to cope.

Sometimes I wonder if my heart will be forever sealed.

I want to soar so very far away, free upon the wind,

but captive I still remain for he goes wherever I am,

he lives and breathes in the darkest realms of me.

Some days I feel a ray of hope or glimmer of love held out to me,

I grieve for the girl I used to be, who could laugh and do anything,

He does not let me feel the caress of hope on whispered breeze,

nor will he let me hear the words of comfort or of grace.

Why can’t I resist this roller coaster ride of shame?

Why can’t I just say no to this, my own other blackened side?

Sometimes I feel I cannot take the paralyzing pain,

I wonder if I’ll break apart, or even remain sane.

How can I abolish or relieve this dreadful terror?

How in the end, did I lose, all that I held so dear?

These question strike dread so deep within my heart,

I feel so alone, behind these frigid walls of stone.

The battle rages on, although I grow so weary…

When will this struggle end…that has so ravaged my soul?

Most days I scream inside and endure this horrid agony…

in silence, in the dark, alone and without leave.

In the end I think my death, may be the only way…

ghos to stop this potent thief…named Fear.

Memories

Memories flow like butterflies. They pass by quietly, take me by surprise. Our wedding day, the trip together, our first love nest. Watching you leave me in the cold morning with a kiss. What a pleasure, did you know I used to watch you through my window until you disappeared? I think you knew because you would wave at the air. I would wait for your return smelling like roses and with a home cook meal.  I was pregnant! a surprise our first son what a joy!. He was perfect and full of energy. I loved you so much, but I didn’t know what love was until we parted. you with another wife and me with another man. What happened to us?.  What kind of pain was that.

I never been the same, never will. This loneliness is killing me. You will always be, my first love my only love. Years passed and it still hurts to think about our life together and how happy and perfect it was. I pray for you every night and for me. I need to find peace in this life without you or your love. To make peace with loneliness.

I look at my reflection in the mirror of time and I’m slowly dying with sadness and regrets. Nobody loves me, nobody wants me, I’m a shadow, a ghost, I go unnoticed and ignored. The world goes on without me like I never existed, why is loneliness so cruel.

I will love you forever and after death. I will give half my life for your embrace. My body craves your arms around me, to hug me, comfort me and dry my tears. I need your embraced now and forever.

Loneliness

Loneliness is darkness
A never-ending night.
Even though the black won’t go away,
You’ll never fall asleep.

Because loneliness sparks a fear
And unlike other nightmares
Awakening will not vanish it;
For the darkness is too strong
To allow any rest.

It makes memories into ghosts
And dreams into spirits.
Too vague to remember
Too important to forget.
~K.L.

 

Unheard Last Words

As I stair at the ceiling when sitting at home

Wishing I had someone to talk to but I’m alone.

Nobody can hear me when I bawl

And nobody hears my distant call.

 

I don’t understand what as happened to me,

Why do I feel so lost and empty?

I am a tool, a machine, I have no soul.

There’s something missing inside I don’t feel whole.

 

Will I be lonely for the rest of my life?

Will I ever have kids a house and a wife?

Shall I do the deed and pick up that knife?

Press against myself with a subtle slice?

Or reflect on my health and maybe think twice?

Will there be someone to stop me and give advice?

 

These questions I ask but nobody can hear,

As the world would remain if I disappear.

I wallow in self pity and cry my heart out,

Knowing I am not loved without any doubt.

 

I have heard there is nothing more pathetic than a cry for help

You either do or you don’t want to kill yourself

This makes me pathetic as well as a weirdo,

I guess it is time for me to go

 

I’ve disappointed my father and that’s what hurts most.

So it is now time to turn to a ghost.

However souls are ghost so I wont be one,

The only thing I will be is gone.

 

by E