Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: fear

Dial

By Amy Friauf

I wait for the ringing;
I lay outspread weeping,
The phone looms near
As I quake with internal fear.
You do not call,
Yet your name and face
I continue to thrall.
Have you lost the number,
Or shall I try harder?
I can’t wait for You–
I must dial without argue.
Reaching for the phone
I tremble to the bone.
But you don’t reply;
Your love I don’t deny
So then I sigh
And continue to standby,
Waiting for the ringing
As I lay weeping…

 

Without

Niser 11

How can nothingness fill you up so much,
if it is nothing  then you should feel nothing.
Yet some how I feel it,
it is a constant pain through out my body
a constant dull hollowness that is with me even in my happy times.
An overwhelming sense of solitude.
I haven’t asked for a lot I certainty don’t except it
yet I wait
hopefully
only to see the same door closed right before my eyes
again
I’m not good enough
not worthy enough
… not enough

too much
why keep trying it only adds more nothing to my already aching emptiness…
Just to be held,
is that a lot to want,
gently hold my face . . .to be looked in the eyes.
To bring that special smile to someone’s face that only a lover can bring.
To be the most important person to just one other person.

Not a lot.

But it is just over there  . .I can see it . I just can’t get a grip on it.
It’s never for me
It is for so many others
I tell my self it will come. I’m I lying to even myself.
What do I lack.

I wasn’t even there you know
my body,
maybe even my mind
but my soul . .no not my soul.
Not that you missed it. . . they never have
…what scares me is they never will
sometimes, very rare but it has been none to happen . .
just a glimpse has made its way through, I wonder if the difference has even
been noticed by you or him.
I shift my eyes so you can’t see me . . .did you see . . .did you look . .
.did it scare you
it scares me
such confusion lies within in me
to long for something with everything in you
but to be so scared of it actually coming to be
some where
I have to believe he is somewhere
he who can take away my fear
he who’s eyes will tell me what my heart needs to feel
I’ll never hurt you
I’ll never leave you
always stay faithful
please . . .strike me before you lay with another
for a my flesh will heal
I know my soul would not
security
content ness . . .
to lay in your arms and feel love, and to feel safe
to feel beautiful in your eyes
to feel.

With Two Dogs In The Yard

a House shelters from the rains, the winds, the outside elements,

a Home shelters from human fears, loneliness and despair.

 

a House keeps out intruders, people who would take from within,

a Home invites strangers, people who will become friends and givers.

 

a House stores things…pictures, books, computer stuff and possessions,

a Home holds memories… stories, shared moments of learning, joys and sorrows.

 

a House warms the body, provides comfort to the flesh,

a Home warms the soul, provides comfort to the spirit.

 

a House is a place where golden and black have a back yard to play,

a Home is where Mart and Thor are loved in every room.

 

a House has a street address and can be burned to the ground with fire,

a Home has an essence which can be torn apart by mistrust.

 

Our Home is now my house…

std

Untitled

It is a spear piercing my throat.

It is the woman ripping my heart.

It is the darkness choking my neck.

It is the water I feel on my body,

Heavy and filling.

It is the fear of being alone.

 

It is the tears that I cry.

It is the pain in my stomach.

It is the self destruction of thought.

It is the fantasies in my head,

Making me smile.

It is what I do.

 

It is that day at the bridge

It is the look on her face

It is the sound of her voice

It is the new man she has

It is the love that I have

It is the love that she hasn’t

It is the

 

It just is.


 

Untitled

I will not fear

Fear is the mind-killer

Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration

I will face my fear

I will permit it to pass over and through me

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye

to see its path

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing

Only I will remain

B.G.