Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: failure

Untitled by Ary

Failure is not fatal.
Hell if I knew;
It’s like cutting open a tortilla pack,
slipping with the knife on the final hurdle,
and then learning that the tortillas were mouldy…
and then your new lover learning that you eat plain tortillas on their own.
Yeah.
It’s another level of disappointment.
Sure, it’s not fatal, but, oh God, the pain.
The pain.
It’s brutal, malevolent and leaves a red-alert, not-so-paper trail.
Withdrawing from the whole thing takes a lot, because in my situation, you would’ve just started a healthy diet,
leaving that gaping abyss some place between your lungs, like a sink-hole,
you don’t even know where you’re putting it.
You would’ve texted the girl you like, saying something embarrassing.
You would’ve left your last lifeline behind, like a bad episode of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’,
and now you’re left with nothing, stubbornly exclaiming how you’ve won, you’ve beat the system,
you had damn good reason and feeling truly alone.
You’ll hate your life,
have a damn painful finger,
and scared you’re gonna live your whole life alone, full of regret.
I hate this feeling. It’s like being cheated on by God himself.
You haven’t a single friend in the world and you’re pretending that it’s all fine,
but the abyss doesn’t even want to make eye contact anymore:
he’s picked up his fucking phone.

One day, you have to decide to just fuck it.
I only know how to reverse in stick-shift, so I guess I’m going forward.
I’m not afraid… maybe a little. I’m about to hit a junction. Big one, too.
Biting point, anxiety, blah blah. Just push the pedal, slam down the accelerator,
because, as a wise man once said, ‘gotta go fast’.
Another one also said:
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

Advertisements

I am Afraid

i am afraid

forty winters of loneliness

forty long, cold, empty years

one single unbroken night

 

forty years of the cold-shoulder

of mockery

of laughter

of despair

 

i love

but

no one loves me

 

i am afraid

 

i am a worthless piece of shit

a failure

 

everything i touch

i ruin

 

that which i have done

out of thoughtfulness

out of compassion

out of love

comes back to haunt me

 

eyes bore into me

asking

how do you dare

to think you could be human

to have feelings of warmth and tenderness

or to be allowed to express them

 

i am afraid

 

i am afraid because

i am alone

and tired

 

tired of passing through this existence

as an unseen spirit

alone

tired of being sick of heart

tired of my heart being a pain-filled void

tired of looking towards another forty years

alone and unloved

 

never worthy of being held

never worthy of being told, “I love you” or “I need you”

never mattering

 

i am afraid

Pain

Night falls…doubts rise

…and the fear of knowing nothing creeps in.

Loneliness becomes your companion

…depression becomes your friend

…the world changes shape, everything becomes alien.

Sorrow emanates from you, in your soul a bleeding heart

Pain is all you know

…suffering is all you practice.

The demons dance insanely

…The eagles’ wings are clipped

…the hungry dog is left to die.

Pain is only eased by greater pain.

A vacuum inside sucks away everything leaving you with

……nothing, emptiness.

All attempts have failed, all avenues now blocked.

You are behind God’s back and persecution becomes your punishment.

The leaves turn brown and die

……a cold wind caresses your body.

Lost in a maze, searching for a way out

Check…………and mate

……the game is over, the battle is lost.

Welcome home my friend.

Feel free to dance among the dead.