Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Tag Archives: curse

A Day of Dying

Lying awake trying to push the memories away

The stupid things I’ve done

The stupid things I’ve said

The life I’ve missed out on

The friends I’ve disgusted,

How they got tired of me

The only one who ever wanted me

I wish I would die.

 

I see my face

I see my frame

I scrutinise ever aspect

Is it really that bad?

I turn away in shame

Nobody can want that

Why won’t I die?

 

I try to speak but I stumble over the words

I want to speak but my mind is blank

The people I hate

Make me feel like shit

But I can’t interact with the people I like

The one’s I want to be with

Could never want this

I think of the one that did

And I wish I was dead.

 

I’m cursing myself

I was rubbish at this

I was useless at that

I should not have said this

I wish I’d said  that

 

If I didn’t turn the wheel

Would I be saved by that tree?

A little swerve

That would be the end of me

 

There’s no one else here

No love, no child, no friend

A simple meal for one then

I think of her again

There’s no one out there

For me to go and see

I just want to fade away

 

Trying to push the memories away

Trying not to analyze the day

I groan in anger and despair

My fists pressed against my head

The life that’s gone

The life that’s ahead

The only one that wanted me

I try to sleep

While I wish I was dead.

By Sudhakar

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Smile

My smile makes me sick

I wonder what you see

Does it turn your stomach

As it does to me?

Does it look bright and sweet?

I can’t stand the way it feels

The memory of my reflection

Makes me feel so rotten

But I can’t help but smile

Now and then

I picture what it’s like

I try to kill it

I curse myself

The thought that I’ve carried out

The ridiculous contortion

The thought that you’ve seen it

It just makes me sick.

 

By Sudhakar