Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Category Archives: Searching

Poems by Keith Atkissoon

Another windy day

 

What’s the ocean for but to stare out over

Huddled and cold, my hair blows and twists

Gulls pour up the cliffs, keeping silent today

Some hover and watch me from a distance

Some dive and head out over the crests of waves

Skimming the cold current

They steal my wind

The wind that draws me closer to the edge

Do they see my eyes blurred by tears?

 

The wind blows hard against my face

Reddening my cheeks, I shiver in the cold

Even the breaking waves have gone quiet

A mournful uneasiness over the sand

Is no one laughing today?

I hear nothing but another windy day

 

The whitecaps strum a silent song offshore

Sailboats glide slowly miles away

And while clouds gather, shadows grow long

Then a grey-deadened sea follows the sun

As it continues to vanish past the horizon

Bringing a gull-empty sky and whispering tones of sirens

Who cried the sea?

Was it me?

Not only me, but many more, the many who

Gaze out over the water every day, wishing, hoping, and praying

For the future to come, or for the past to return

To an indifferent sea, it’s just another windy day.

 

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Seeing my friend

 

Not me ,by me

Beside the sweet mist

Me, myself, my thoughts can’t resist

The vision plays out some every day

Is there anybody there? Listen I say

I’m waiting for a friend, a still empty chair

Can see them so clearly, me sitting there

Our voices, the song, and dripping good times

A neverland appears when I open my eyes

Things that aren’t real, rarely surprise

 

I need to go back to what I said before

My beautiful friend never comes through the door

To sit by me, and pay me some mind

Or give me a call, to just take the time

I see what’s there and it’s none of your mind

My friend’s soft words, they remind

Of lives that we lived and loves long ago

Tell each other stories of childhoods ago

 

I am my best friend, the only one I know

The one in the chair?

Their names’ alone

This so special bond, between twilight and dusk

As a stilted connection, and is so and such.

My friend just blurred, this thought crossed my mind

The time we next meet, I will find

The chair still empty, that’s not what I see

I see a friend

But I’m talking to me.

 

Poems by Lori Kay

New Picture

For so long I wander, lost to myself in the forest of Life.

It is a rather panicked way of life.

Have you ever searched for your Self so?

For so long I sit perplexed at the table of Life where lay the puzzle pieces of Me.

It is a rather frustrating way of Life.

“This puzzle must have come to me with the wrong pieces,” I cry aloud so many times.

Have you ever been so perplexed over Who you are – inside and out?

For so long am I hungry to use the ‘stuff’ inside me.

It is a rather lonely and unsatisfied way of life.

“To hunger for use and to never to be used is the worse hunger of all.” (author unknown)

Have you ever been so hungry?

Oh for the day,

I find myself and my insides become calm, I become faith-full on the path.

I make great progress on the puzzle of me; enlightened at the table.

I am filled, the ache of disuse abated.
From that day forward,

I take each step with dignity, calm and content in the forest.

I connect each puzzle piece with patience, uplifted at the table.

I apply with privilege the genuineness of me, satisfied with the ‘stuff.’
New Picture (1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lori Kay, 2010

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When the struggle to survive is over

And you’re left alone to redefine yourself

Where does the definition come from?

When the struggle to survive is over

And you’re left with a certain kind of emptiness and calm

Where does the reason come from?

When you no longer have to fight to push your body and mind through each moment

Where does the fight go?

When the struggle to survive is over

And you can finally breakdown and cry

What will stop the tears?

When the struggle to survive is over

And you finally let down the anger you held so long

What do you hold now?

When the struggle to survive is over

And the fear that fueled your inner fire is snuffed out

Where does the flame come from?

When the struggle to survive is over

And adrenalin and cortisol no longer run through you every minute, every hour, of every day

And your body comes to a complete stand still, a fall down and stay down

What will bring it back up again?

When the struggle to survive is over

And fight or flight becomes stay and love

And you’re left with a sadness undefined

Where does the happiness meet up with you?

Lori Kay, 2009

In Search

Where do you begin to search for “did you find someone?”.
It’s like searching for the pink elephant in the wild.
I have said to myself that this person’s first lesson to you will be to keep in hope and never give up,
but now it feels more like a need and I feel lonely.
Alone.
I thought I searched for love, but instead I am in search of being loved, being wanted.
I believe that there is a person somewhere.
I just have to be open and kind.
For love itself shall come to you.
You cannot go to love or even bring love to you.
Try not to think about lonelyness, but rather hope and ask (gently).

And now we wait…

Written by: Suzanne Loots

Poems by Math

Letter to LOVE

Dear LOVE,

Of all the emotions expressed by the living entities in this world,
you are by far the most influential. My very evolution is in thanks to
you. You are the blood in my veins, the signals in my brain, the
muscles in my limbs, and the nerves under my skin. YOU ARE THE
REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE. You are the cause and effect of my
every action. Encompassing all types of feelings, you are the
backbone of emotion itself. The vastness of your reach is
unsurpassable by any thought imaginable. I thank you for all you
have contributed to the creation and development of life. In yet, I no
longer deserve to be graced with your presence. The evils I have
committed against you, the very essence of life, are atrocious. All
throughout the history of my existence, you have been present and
persistent in pushing me towards progression. All the while, I was
kicking and screaming. Masking your beauty with my destructive
ways. If only I could fully understand your unconditional consistency.
After all the lessons you have taught me, the elegance of the
universe you have shown me, and your endless effort to redeem me
from myself, I am obligated to apologize for ending existence. If I
knew then what I know now, I would have opened my eyes sooner
and appreciated the grand gift of life.

Sincerely,

Humanity

Man and Machine

They claim I am of robotic origin, a real man of tin.
Just void my devotion because I’m allegedly devoid of emotion, despite the reasoning
behind me striving for verbal communication being to stay in mental relation specifically
to avoid such frustration. Sure, stick to your misinterpretation of my explanation on how
to approach our situation with healthy intention. The man of steel can’t possibly feel,
right? Or did you just initiate the fight out of fear that I might actually be your shiny-
armored knight? These things take a heavy toll on my heart, but instead of feeling torn
apart I just start to thicken the walls to prevent future emotional falls. As a result, I have
become jaded and my trust has faded to an extreme that doesn’t seem to deem any human
interaction as potential satisfaction. On the inside is the knight who died, but still the
armor carries out his will. Just as they had foreseen, I am now machine.

Lost at Sea

The skies wide open and the air fresh as ever
A man appears content, though his thoughts are severed
The will to choose who, what, when, where and however
But to the fear of the deep blue, his mind is tethered

Swiftly rolling in, comes the inevitable storm
In a panic, he searches for the land he was born
Following the path of light, only still to feel torn
He reaches the house, but decides to break the norm

Time reveals truth as he takes a deep breath
The man realizes his vessel is all he has left
The face of the infinite wave reeks of death
The choice to end his own life, he now heft

A ship lost at sea contains the man who thought he was free
Burned down the lighthouse and sailed on to see
The price of freedom, his heart forever lonely
Eternally shrouded by the fog of regret and misery.

Poems by MPK

The Enemy Within

The walls are crumbling…

distant cannons are rumbling,

the silence is screaming in my head,

the streets are deserted, but for the dead.

Why am I here all by myself?

Why have I been left here so bereft?

No one here to fight at my side,

the enemy approaches, nearly inside.

Why did everyone desert their posts?

Their armor here for none but ghosts.

My comrades lie here all alone,

on the streets made of crimson stone.

The stores are all burning, their fires fraught,

with reflections of battles we all fought.

For pride and spoils all was lost,

peace and honor were the cost.

The enemy is here, he’s at the gate,

I’m all alone now to meet my fate.

My captors are storming the great stone walls,

I hear their footsteps and their calls.

Where do I go now, where do I hide,

no mercy is left for me to abide.

The enemy is upon me, I feel the heat,

of their eyes upon me, pure hatred to meet.

My heart beats faster to a flutter,

panic arises, my throat to shutter.

Where once I was strong,

no hope can last long.

The enemy is here, no longer afield,

battlements no longer able to shield,

Where once was strength, no longer can be,

as the enemy is here, and it is in me.

-MPK

 

 

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My Heart Hurts

“My heart hurts” sounds like such a simple phrase,

but it’s meaning to me is great.

This phrase my last attempt to cry out

from the anger and hurt that won’t abate.

Not a very good descriptive

but the only one I have to explain,

the knots in my stomach moving up

to choke the air in my throat again.

“My heart hurts” is all I can tell the docs.

They look at me and try to see,

never realizing how true and

powerful this simple statement can be.

How long I have been fighting

these demons and anguish unseen?

How long can I live in this world

of charred remains of the old me?

‘Tis not the song of a lark in the morn,

but a cry from the dark within,

from my inner self so empty,

yet so full of anger to oblivion.

A locked Pandora’s box

riding heavily on my back,

tarnishing my heart and soul

in shades of green and black.

“My heart hurts”

Tis not a punishment for my beliefs,

Just pain unimaginable

piercing without mercy or relief.

My heart hurts is all I can say…

in hopes of keeping this horror at bay…

My heart hurts is all I may say…

to make it through another day…

My heart hurts is all I will say…

before I decide whether to go or stay.

–          mpk

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The Thief

This life I live seems bleak, and only but a lie,

these potent feeling overwhelm, and will not be denied..

I casually greet people living all around me, or so I make it seem,

but deep inside, my thoughts are raging, and swirling all around..

He came upon me when I was defenseless and so very fragile,

and stole my tender dreams, my control and all my power.

I tried and tried to fight and find some hidden weapon,

but in the end, he wore me down..retreat my only option.

I sit here on the edge, looking out and try to see,

The sunlight, mists and moonbeams; their beauty calls to me.

Sometimes I catch a feather, an angel dropped in passing.

I search deep inside my soul for truths not misbegotten,

Why can’t I be content with life just as it is?

Why does love elude me along with simple peace?

Sometimes it feels as if there just no more hope,

each day I have to struggle, for another way to cope.

Sometimes I wonder if my heart will be forever sealed.

I want to soar so very far away, free upon the wind,

but captive I still remain for he goes wherever I am,

he lives and breathes in the darkest realms of me.

Some days I feel a ray of hope or glimmer of love held out to me,

I grieve for the girl I used to be, who could laugh and do anything,

He does not let me feel the caress of hope on whispered breeze,

nor will he let me hear the words of comfort or of grace.

Why can’t I resist this roller coaster ride of shame?

Why can’t I just say no to this, my own other blackened side?

Sometimes I feel I cannot take the paralyzing pain,

I wonder if I’ll break apart, or even remain sane.

How can I abolish or relieve this dreadful terror?

How in the end, did I lose, all that I held so dear?

These question strike dread so deep within my heart,

I feel so alone, behind these frigid walls of stone.

The battle rages on, although I grow so weary…

When will this struggle end…that has so ravaged my soul?

Most days I scream inside and endure this horrid agony…

in silence, in the dark, alone and without leave.

In the end I think my death, may be the only way…

ghos to stop this potent thief…named Fear.