Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Category Archives: Change

When

When I sit and Ponder
of days or yore and yonder.
Of times I was glad
and times I was sad.
When I was a child
and a little bit wild.
When I was a boy
and full of joy.
When i was a youth
perhaps a little a uncouth.
When I became a man,
oh dear !!
Maybe I shouldn’t sit and ponder?

Norman of Leicester, England
written 1996

Untitled by Ary

Failure is not fatal.
Hell if I knew;
It’s like cutting open a tortilla pack,
slipping with the knife on the final hurdle,
and then learning that the tortillas were mouldy…
and then your new lover learning that you eat plain tortillas on their own.
Yeah.
It’s another level of disappointment.
Sure, it’s not fatal, but, oh God, the pain.
The pain.
It’s brutal, malevolent and leaves a red-alert, not-so-paper trail.
Withdrawing from the whole thing takes a lot, because in my situation, you would’ve just started a healthy diet,
leaving that gaping abyss some place between your lungs, like a sink-hole,
you don’t even know where you’re putting it.
You would’ve texted the girl you like, saying something embarrassing.
You would’ve left your last lifeline behind, like a bad episode of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’,
and now you’re left with nothing, stubbornly exclaiming how you’ve won, you’ve beat the system,
you had damn good reason and feeling truly alone.
You’ll hate your life,
have a damn painful finger,
and scared you’re gonna live your whole life alone, full of regret.
I hate this feeling. It’s like being cheated on by God himself.
You haven’t a single friend in the world and you’re pretending that it’s all fine,
but the abyss doesn’t even want to make eye contact anymore:
he’s picked up his fucking phone.

One day, you have to decide to just fuck it.
I only know how to reverse in stick-shift, so I guess I’m going forward.
I’m not afraid… maybe a little. I’m about to hit a junction. Big one, too.
Biting point, anxiety, blah blah. Just push the pedal, slam down the accelerator,
because, as a wise man once said, ‘gotta go fast’.
Another one also said:
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

Mirror

As the mist rises slowly from the steaming ponds, I lie here listening to your gentle breathing. The soft light of dawn touches your face. I’m afraid to move. Afraid to break the spell and losing this moment for ever. Thoughts keep milling through my mind. Past, future, present. All mixed into one.

An old couple, enjoying the gentle sunshine on a park bench, happy and content with what life brought them. An excitement flushed face, glowing with adrenalin. A listless tear, slipping down a cheek.

How I wish I could protect you from those tears. How I wish to save you from even one moment’s pain. And how selfish that would be. For, not only would I be destroying those moments, but uncounted blissful moments too.

The moment shatters as you turn over, snuggling closer, and I realise that the images I saw where not moments from your life, but from mine, reflecting of you. For that is what we are, mirrors. Sometimes we are truly lucky in finding a mirror that distorts our reflection ever so slightly. Making us like what we see, making us happy. I close my eyes, content for now, and in my mind I hear the soft tinkling of shattered glass.

 

Wild Flower

you are the one who makes me feel so happy
you are the one who makes me feeling easy
you are the one who brought my life this crazy

you are the one who left me finally…

as the trees grow so wildly
as the rainbow colors bring you so lovely
here with me you’ll be in my memory
like a dream how much you mean to me..

yesterday was a big big joy to me
like a clouds filled with comfort to me
yesterday was so lucky and full of beauty
like a lucky charm that’s what you are to me.

go and find your own destiny
let the sun shines you gracefully
go and live your life happily
and let us be in your shadow as you
grow maturely….

 

Would Someone Please?

Pain has become a friend of mine

for she visits all the time.

By my side she does stay

though I wish she’d go away.

She does not know her welcomes gone

that I never liked her all along.

And her foolish pride won’t let her go

Would someone tell her? She needs to know.

 

Yes, pain stays with me everyday

while I let her guide the way.

Leading deeper into hell

for I am weakened by her spell.

She clings to me with all her might

holding on forever tight.

She is no longer welcome here

she needs to leave with her friend, fear.

I think it’s time for her to go

would someone please let her know?

E.S.