Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Category Archives: Break-Up/Long Distance Relationship

My Black Hole

Not worth my tears,

Not worth my blood,

Yet, I still cry,

Yes, I still cut.

 

I feel so alone,

Just me, myself and I,

I always thought that was ok,

Turns out to have been a lie.

 

I know what I wanted to happen,

On this family holiday,

To spend some time alone with you,

Your face and actions scream stay away.

 

We should have had that talk,

Before we boarded the plane,

You didn’t want to do that though,

Didn’t notice I was in pain.

 

I know that I caused what you did,

You put up with me for long enough,

But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to me,

Cheating? That was just rough.

 

I have never liked lies in any form,

The truth hurts but in a different way,

Now I question every single thing,

What you do and what you say.

 

Sitting in the back of this car,

Crying very quietly,

Our daughter and your mum on my left,

You driving and your dad in front of me.

 

Our boys are with your uncle,

Your brother’s driving them in the other car,

I am here all by myself,

Stupidly I didn’t think about it being so far.

 

I know its a few thousand miles,

Only for a couple of weeks,

It was way too soon to attempt this,

I’m praying my tears leave no streaks.

 

So what happens when we get home?

You’ve got her and I’ve got the kids,

You will continue to lie and to hurt me,

Truly, you are a shit.

 

I know you have a lot on your plate,

Losing your job and maybe your home,

I’m the last person you want to think about,

You think I just bitch and moan.

 

Even after all you have done,

I miss you more and more,

I know that you don’t want me,

My being the mother of your kids must be such a bore.

 

There is another man,

An interested party,

He sounds quite safe and better still,

He thinks he could like me.

 

For all my dislike of lies,

I haven’t been entirely honest,

I neglected to mention my disability,

My depression? That’s just a bonus.

 

I will come clean before we meet,

Of that I have no doubt,

To meet before I drop that bombshell,

Would be uncomfortable should he wish to back out.

 

I ‘met’ him on a dating site,

We exchanged numbers and started to text,

It seems we have a lot in common,

On paper, he could be perfect.

 

I thought I was ready to meet,

Someone new, to try to love again,

Unfortunately, I’m still head over heels,

With the man who chose to walk away?

 

Is it just me being stupid?

He picked her more than once,

He truly doesn’t want me,

I have to stop being such a dunce.

 

I have to toughen up now,

It’s been two years that I’ve been alone,

I really didn’t think I would manage,

I don’t usually cope well on my own.

 

This has to be the end now,

Life is too damned short,

He’d still be cheating on me now,

If only he hadn’t been caught.

 

He comes out smelling of roses,

Like washing powder, whiter than white.

Well if that’s how it is going to be,

Then I’ll have to be alright.

 

Alright is exactly what I will be,

I have to be and that’s that,

I’m a dog person anyway,

Not going to be the lady with more than one cat!!

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A Hurt Heart

Bills bills bills…
that I cannot pay.
I have no car,
and my heart hurts all day.
a heartache so strong.
a love long gone…
my tears stream like rain-
and my heart hurts all day.
my dear best friend-
my dear lost love.
“HE HAS FORSAKEN ME!”
as I cry to the above.
Bills bills bills…
that I cannot pay.
I have no car,
and my heart hurts all day.
AJW
8.5.15

Marta Complex

is this way too soon?
all these movements look desperate for a reply,
all this blood left with the questions to figure out what happened and why…
I’ve been playing restart to unearth this naked eye
coming up with only conclusions to end this low pride.
I’ve been told to go kill myself for the last time
I understand the consequence if I let this fin.
first of all, it’s my decision to disagree with you.

I’ve lost taste to touch
no lust for anything
I wish I didn’t know you at all
but now that I do, it ruins everything.
money is made out of women skin
I’ve tried my best to be a good friend.
It seems I’m too depressed
I may never have success with that
so I’m digging out my own grave
counting down to zero
because I don’t even know why I stick around
I don’t know why I shared my bed.

-I.R.

More Poems by Math

NEVER AGAIN
When the sun goes down, the light goes out and the darkness creeps within. When Love’s not around, Fear whispers in my ear, “it’s never coming back again.”
Amidst the overwhelming blue seeping through every orifice in sight, floats a small, round clock. First enters the questions, “Where am I? What happened to me? How did I get here? What do I do now?” My mind wanders through countless theories searching for the logical reasoning behind it all. Simultaneously, everything gets blurry and the muscles in my face start to tingle. Then, a quick realization of the situation at hand…I’m drowning. Bursting out of the deep blue, I land on the small, round clock and struggle to regulate the oxygen rushing into my lungs. Now lying on the clock, I stare up at the monotonous fields of gray sky. I’ve escaped one death only to lose myself to another.
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– comments pertaining to NEVER AGAIN: I wrote this after leaving a relationship that was not going very well. It’s about a realization that my dependency for the love of another means that by leaving a relationship that was causing negative emotion for the unknown depths of loneliness is a tough situation.
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MISERY’S DRUDGE
I often wondered how I managed to live a life so immensely rife with strife until the day I realized whose hand it was holding the knife. With every step, I felt it piercing my spine and causing a mental decline as if the wielder made it a point to confine my mind. I tried to defy the pain by claiming my spirit will never die and not once did I ever apply the idea that it was all just a lie to try to deny the truth from my own eye. I was not strong enough to accept that it was I all along who had been in the wrong. There’s a certain picture I’ve been painting over time, hoping to wipe off all the sludge and grime so that I may finally let go of a grudge and reach a moment so sublime. But now it seems I must eternally climb the highest mountains and trudge through slime as Misery’s drudge to pay for my crime.
.
– comments pertaining to MISERY’S DRUDGE: I wrote this recently, when realizing that I was over-reacting about something because I constantly over-analyze everything. It’s about how I am the only one who consistently and effectively makes my own life harder to emotionally handle.

Confession

So here I am again,

Standing on the line,

Of what’s real or vain,

You’re so distinct,

Dear loneliness you found me,

Between the lines of eternity and my soul. 

The sun is here, 

But it feels so cold.

My shadow is reflecting,

And my hairs are floating.

” I’m use to it it’s fine, to be hurt, to be left, and every single hope I said are just memories in my head.”

I want to break,

I want to cry,

And hold into your hand.

I beg you,

I beg you,

Don’t leave me. 

” I’ll be good “

I promise.

I just want someone to love

And never let go.

What should I do,

To make you see.

I’m so desperate,

To feel a gentle hand,

On my head.

I don’t mean anything,

To anyone.

And those words let you see,

How pitiful I really am.