Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

Loneliness

Loneliness is the limbo land between ‘Don’t call me anymore.’ and ‘Nice to meet you.’
Loneliness is washing the same 1 plate and cup and knife and fork over and over again.
It is never using Your mug, in case You come back.

It’s a 4am glass of water at the kitchen sink in his t-shirt, Wondering if he ever stands alone,
half naked and vulnerable,
woken from a nightmare and thinking of me.

It’s hyper vigilant, on the nightwatch,
waiting for the dawn to break so that you can finally let go of yesterday and sleep your way through a new day,
because it still counts as long as you can mark it on the calendar,
another day closer to becoming the person that you aren’t right now.

Loneliness is wanting to call but having nothing new to say,
So you type it out and file it away,
With the love letters he was never ready to receive.

Loneliness is not speaking to a single soul all day
and so you talk outloud before answering the phone so it doesnt come out as a croak,
too soft or too loud,
because in your silent vigile to spinsterdom,
you’ve forgotten just how to use your own voice.

Loneliness is lighting a candle to your former self, wondering if she’s still out there somewhere patiently waiting.

It is the box of love letters,
and cards and relationships lost at sea,
which scream at you from the corner of the room,
that you were once loved.

Loneliness is the sharp stab in your heart,
in the moments between you drying the kitchen knife and pushing it into the knife block,
the shadow behind that voice that whispers, please don’t!
Put the knife down!

Loneliness is me without you,
abruptly and roughly torn apart.
Loneliness is me lost inside,
aware of how loud my breathing is,
noticing how it echoes around me like an empty ballroom once filled with chatter and excitement and romance.

Loneliness is me staring into a mirror and seeing there is something missing behind my eyes,
which tear up with tides of broken shards of my glass heart, each one whispering ‘I miss you’ as they roll down my cheeks and onto my chest,
my body trying to cleanse myself of you,
while I try to force them back,
to fill in the empty spaces where you and I used to be.

 

 

Girl_Interacting

Advertisements

When

When I sit and Ponder
of days or yore and yonder.
Of times I was glad
and times I was sad.
When I was a child
and a little bit wild.
When I was a boy
and full of joy.
When i was a youth
perhaps a little a uncouth.
When I became a man,
oh dear !!
Maybe I shouldn’t sit and ponder?

Norman of Leicester, England
written 1996

Loneliness

Loneliness is the heart seeking love.

Loneliness is the heart in pain,

Wanting, Needing, Hoping.

Oh, come unto me ….

Dear Friend,

lift me from this trench

within my self.

Take me, guide me

Along the paths of joy.

Let us speak and play.

Let us be close that all may see,

That you have I

And I have you.

“Awake, Awake, Alas

Tis but a dream

Mine only companion IS….

            me.

by Norman of Leicester England

My Black Hole

Not worth my tears,

Not worth my blood,

Yet, I still cry,

Yes, I still cut.

 

I feel so alone,

Just me, myself and I,

I always thought that was ok,

Turns out to have been a lie.

 

I know what I wanted to happen,

On this family holiday,

To spend some time alone with you,

Your face and actions scream stay away.

 

We should have had that talk,

Before we boarded the plane,

You didn’t want to do that though,

Didn’t notice I was in pain.

 

I know that I caused what you did,

You put up with me for long enough,

But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to me,

Cheating? That was just rough.

 

I have never liked lies in any form,

The truth hurts but in a different way,

Now I question every single thing,

What you do and what you say.

 

Sitting in the back of this car,

Crying very quietly,

Our daughter and your mum on my left,

You driving and your dad in front of me.

 

Our boys are with your uncle,

Your brother’s driving them in the other car,

I am here all by myself,

Stupidly I didn’t think about it being so far.

 

I know its a few thousand miles,

Only for a couple of weeks,

It was way too soon to attempt this,

I’m praying my tears leave no streaks.

 

So what happens when we get home?

You’ve got her and I’ve got the kids,

You will continue to lie and to hurt me,

Truly, you are a shit.

 

I know you have a lot on your plate,

Losing your job and maybe your home,

I’m the last person you want to think about,

You think I just bitch and moan.

 

Even after all you have done,

I miss you more and more,

I know that you don’t want me,

My being the mother of your kids must be such a bore.

 

There is another man,

An interested party,

He sounds quite safe and better still,

He thinks he could like me.

 

For all my dislike of lies,

I haven’t been entirely honest,

I neglected to mention my disability,

My depression? That’s just a bonus.

 

I will come clean before we meet,

Of that I have no doubt,

To meet before I drop that bombshell,

Would be uncomfortable should he wish to back out.

 

I ‘met’ him on a dating site,

We exchanged numbers and started to text,

It seems we have a lot in common,

On paper, he could be perfect.

 

I thought I was ready to meet,

Someone new, to try to love again,

Unfortunately, I’m still head over heels,

With the man who chose to walk away?

 

Is it just me being stupid?

He picked her more than once,

He truly doesn’t want me,

I have to stop being such a dunce.

 

I have to toughen up now,

It’s been two years that I’ve been alone,

I really didn’t think I would manage,

I don’t usually cope well on my own.

 

This has to be the end now,

Life is too damned short,

He’d still be cheating on me now,

If only he hadn’t been caught.

 

He comes out smelling of roses,

Like washing powder, whiter than white.

Well if that’s how it is going to be,

Then I’ll have to be alright.

 

Alright is exactly what I will be,

I have to be and that’s that,

I’m a dog person anyway,

Not going to be the lady with more than one cat!!

Winter night

By Eric Turgeon

Ask the winter night about loneliness

When the traffic has gone

and the hum of streetlights

is the only sound

Ask it what comfort its cold winds give

to homeless men

alone in neglected parks

staring at cities ablaze in light filled windows

And ask the winter night

about what warmth

heavenly stars can give

when they are so far away