Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

When

When I sit and Ponder
of days or yore and yonder.
Of times I was glad
and times I was sad.
When I was a child
and a little bit wild.
When I was a boy
and full of joy.
When i was a youth
perhaps a little a uncouth.
When I became a man,
oh dear !!
Maybe I shouldn’t sit and ponder?

Norman of Leicester, England
written 1996

Loneliness

Loneliness is the heart seeking love.

Loneliness is the heart in pain,

Wanting, Needing, Hoping.

Oh, come unto me ….

Dear Friend,

lift me from this trench

within my self.

Take me, guide me

Along the paths of joy.

Let us speak and play.

Let us be close that all may see,

That you have I

And I have you.

“Awake, Awake, Alas

Tis but a dream

Mine only companion IS….

            me.

by Norman of Leicester England

My Black Hole

Not worth my tears,

Not worth my blood,

Yet, I still cry,

Yes, I still cut.

 

I feel so alone,

Just me, myself and I,

I always thought that was ok,

Turns out to have been a lie.

 

I know what I wanted to happen,

On this family holiday,

To spend some time alone with you,

Your face and actions scream stay away.

 

We should have had that talk,

Before we boarded the plane,

You didn’t want to do that though,

Didn’t notice I was in pain.

 

I know that I caused what you did,

You put up with me for long enough,

But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to me,

Cheating? That was just rough.

 

I have never liked lies in any form,

The truth hurts but in a different way,

Now I question every single thing,

What you do and what you say.

 

Sitting in the back of this car,

Crying very quietly,

Our daughter and your mum on my left,

You driving and your dad in front of me.

 

Our boys are with your uncle,

Your brother’s driving them in the other car,

I am here all by myself,

Stupidly I didn’t think about it being so far.

 

I know its a few thousand miles,

Only for a couple of weeks,

It was way too soon to attempt this,

I’m praying my tears leave no streaks.

 

So what happens when we get home?

You’ve got her and I’ve got the kids,

You will continue to lie and to hurt me,

Truly, you are a shit.

 

I know you have a lot on your plate,

Losing your job and maybe your home,

I’m the last person you want to think about,

You think I just bitch and moan.

 

Even after all you have done,

I miss you more and more,

I know that you don’t want me,

My being the mother of your kids must be such a bore.

 

There is another man,

An interested party,

He sounds quite safe and better still,

He thinks he could like me.

 

For all my dislike of lies,

I haven’t been entirely honest,

I neglected to mention my disability,

My depression? That’s just a bonus.

 

I will come clean before we meet,

Of that I have no doubt,

To meet before I drop that bombshell,

Would be uncomfortable should he wish to back out.

 

I ‘met’ him on a dating site,

We exchanged numbers and started to text,

It seems we have a lot in common,

On paper, he could be perfect.

 

I thought I was ready to meet,

Someone new, to try to love again,

Unfortunately, I’m still head over heels,

With the man who chose to walk away?

 

Is it just me being stupid?

He picked her more than once,

He truly doesn’t want me,

I have to stop being such a dunce.

 

I have to toughen up now,

It’s been two years that I’ve been alone,

I really didn’t think I would manage,

I don’t usually cope well on my own.

 

This has to be the end now,

Life is too damned short,

He’d still be cheating on me now,

If only he hadn’t been caught.

 

He comes out smelling of roses,

Like washing powder, whiter than white.

Well if that’s how it is going to be,

Then I’ll have to be alright.

 

Alright is exactly what I will be,

I have to be and that’s that,

I’m a dog person anyway,

Not going to be the lady with more than one cat!!

Winter night

By Eric Turgeon

Ask the winter night about loneliness

When the traffic has gone

and the hum of streetlights

is the only sound

Ask it what comfort its cold winds give

to homeless men

alone in neglected parks

staring at cities ablaze in light filled windows

And ask the winter night

about what warmth

heavenly stars can give

when they are so far away

Rampart

In this place of desolation a lonely rampart stands forged between a mountain and a machine, my heart is the castle and my mind is the sea, I am no captain, I sail no ships, I am no king, I command no armies, though the throne that stands before me bears my name, if I sit I shall crumble, a phrase etched into the glass of the cathedral, I am.

A sea of infinite wisdom floods the halls of my stronghold, corridors fill with memories and a crown begins to mold, I am no king, I do not dare to pick up the crown for when it rests upon the head, the shoulders decay and soul dies instead, etched in the walls of the keep, I am.

The courtyard breathes of the scent of putrid waste left behind by the scars of tomorrow, a fissure in time allowing flow between the here-and-now and what follows, I am no captain, I cannot set a course of action, a lighthouse in the dark beckons me out of the weather, the storms of my past keep me tethered, carved into the waves, I am.

If I am no king and I am no captain, then what am I? A wanderer in darkness is holding a lamp to light the way, a silent watcher feeling more alone everyday, but in the sea of demons, and the castle of hate, I stand proud of a phrase etched in the walls, and carved in the waves, “I am”.

We never walk this road alone, and for those who wish they could just go home, a castle awaits in a sea of desolation, like a lonely wall forged between the mind and the heart, I am an oasis in the desert so barren, I am rampart.

– Matthew B.
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