I wonder what you see

Does it turn your stomach

As it does to me?

Does it look bright and sweet?

I can’t stand the way it feels

The memory of my reflection

Makes me feel so rotten

But I can’t help but smile

Now and then

I picture what it’s like

I try to kill it

I curse myself

The thought that I’ve carried out

The ridiculous contortion

The thought that you’ve seen it

It just makes me sick.

By Sudhakar

I never been the same, never will. This loneliness is killing me. You will always be, my first love my only love. Years passed and it still hurts to think about our life together and how happy and perfect it was. I pray for you every night and for me. I need to find peace in this life without you or your love. To make peace with loneliness.

I look at my reflection in the mirror of time and I’m slowly dying with sadness and regrets. Nobody loves me, nobody wants me, I’m a shadow, a ghost, I go unnoticed and ignored. The world goes on without me like I never existed, why is loneliness so cruel.

I will love you forever and after death. I will give half my life for your embrace. My body craves your arms around me, to hug me, comfort me and dry my tears. I need your embraced now and forever.

.

Once upon a time I was not alone

I remember the joys of family

I remember childhood friends from a cherished past

I am alone

 .

Will there ever be another day of happiness in my life?

Will there be a day when I will always have friends who care?

Will ever again the words be spoken to me, “I love you”?

I am alone

.

I want to give my love

I want to care about someone else

I want to care about others

Most of all I want to be wanted

I am alone

.

My father is gone, my mother is gone

My wonderful wife is gone too

My daughter, oh what painful choices she has made for me to witness

Will that pain of despair ever end?

I am alone

.

I look at my hands and I look at myself

I look at my things and what I have done

I love this single human being who takes care of all that is me

I realize that my existence itself is a treasure

I am alone

.

This treasure that is me is very good

It is the gift of my life from my parents

They were good too

They loved me

I am alone

.

I do not know where they are or if they see me

But I know that I must care for the gift they gave me

A gift that my wonderful wife so much loved

I am worthy to live

I am alone

.

There must be a reason for the state that I am in

But I do not know what it is

Maybe I should not know

I know not what the future holds

I am alone

.

But the gift that was me that I was given

Is a precious gift that I must love and care for till the very end

And I must vigilant to touch the lives of those who may need me

Just a smile, a question of caring for someone else from me

Can make all the difference there is

I am alone

.

To be alone is to be like a soldier on the battlefield

Care not for myself and I will fall

Care for others, help others

And there is not more joy that I could bring to another or myself

I am alone but we are all one

.

The stars in the sky

The trees that grow

The birds that sing

The fish that swim

My brothers and sisters that are mankind

We are all one

We all struggle for this precious life

Love them and all that live

Realize that truth

And I am no longer alone

.

Hear a reading of the poem by the poet here.

A muscle ache,

with each smile.

Debilitating the soul with no disgrace, God, don’t let this effect my child.

It slowly slithers into life.

That evil little devil!

Consuming the soul with one huge bite. Taking us to unknown levels.

Hidden stomach knots.

So twisted I can be…so I’ve learned.

Oh, How I once was….so hot I burned.

Oh, how the tables turn.

How I envy thee.

Mother, Father, Sisters and Brothers.

Being his She,

Showing the world how your lovers.

A numbing venom for the love of “life”. Making it harder to fight it.

A funny thing, that life.

Some can’t handle it

And prefer to bite it.

It’s grip constricting and choking,

Consuming the soul more so than body.

I will keep it from showing,

Escaping to my world of being naughty.

Oh how I imagine a life that’s not mine.

Hoping one day it will manifest.

Telling everyone I’m just fine.

I “really” do love the sunshine!

Acting normal just like the rest.

How are you? I’m just fine!

At my best.

A fictitious face.

A muscle ache, with each smile.

Debilitating the soul with no disgrace, God, don’t let this effect my child.

-Lisa at California

Just wrote about how I tend to hide the extreme sadness that loneliness brings.

I’m not terrible looking. I once was considered a social butterfly and always had people around. Somewhere that changed. I know now that I have had close friends that have gone through the same experience. Never told a soul.  I have no family. But I have my daughter. And I hope to fight it for her.  And hope she isn’t affected in the future.

but, we were never meant to be together

so many days have passed since we have parted

I was the one left broken hearted

so many nights I’ve spent being lonely

Thinking about you, my only

Nights and days have broken into years,

while i drowned myself in my own tears

O, how slowly the moon wanes

How my heart pains,

My concerto soothing what’s left of my sane mind

Even that i have left behind

No i lay waiting for death

The day i will draw my last breath

by Faudia Ramjohn

Lost, despondent, and left to die

O the soul that concedes to the pain

Inside of me that yet abides

Where is the joy that this life was to bring?

Days I would escape memories of the forgotten?

Hope is gone and darkness to swallow me

 Like grass that blankets the earth

 Joy, a facade; a mask to hide the plights

Of unrelenting torment

Wondering in the dark

Nightmares transmute reality

Seasons unchanging

The hand that is bitterness

Hold only misery and sorrow

Wielding its sword to fell

Every instrument of suffering

But, alas weary

Fatally wounded

I am, undone

Delores Collins: This poem was written by me in Jan 2007.

The things they did that weekend

They played or cried or were told off

I smile

Inside I die

.

Then someone mentions their holiday plans

Pack up the kids and the other half

Get away for some family fun

I give a smile

But I feel like a shut in

Inside I die

.

Then someone talks about their exciting love life

Date upon date

Week after week a new man from the net

“You’ve got to get on and find a woman” they say

I’ve tried and I’m not wanted

Inside I die

.

Then a girl talks about trying to see her boyfriend

The effort she makes to see him

The travel for the long distance relationship

That’s great and I smile

Will anyone make an effort for me?

Inside I die

.

Then someone talks about their abuse

The violence, fear and cheating

The years it’s been going on

I’m not like that

So much for being a nice guy

Inside I die

.

When the unpleasant, dickish and annoying

Talk about their lives

They have children, husbands or wives

The worst find and keep someone

And I’m forever alone

Inside I die

.

My explanation. I can go through all this in one day. It makes me feel so empty. I feel my life has been wasted. I feel I’m rubbish. How undesirable must I be if those people from the last two verses get partners?

the sun slants

at odd angles

reaching through

the window

as streaks of light

and dust motes

twist and turn

insidiously

surreptitiously

threatening to choke

my very essence

until I am tangled

in a web

of empty despair

my fetal state

frozen in fear

as the scent

that oh so familiar scent

of death

washes over me

insidiously

surreptitiously

seeping

through my veins

beckoning

tempting

whispering

my

name

By Dawn

Although I have experienced several types of loneliness listed on this website, this particular  poem is about the “alone” feeling that often comes as a precursor to an anxiety or panic attack.

Loneliness is like a disease
It slowly kills you in the inside
Slowly it devours you
Slowly decaying and rotting
to the core

A worn cage that enslaves you
A never ending maze
Darkness is all you see
An empty alley that leads to nowhere
Freedom seems out of reach
A tunnel that leads to oblivion
A sign saying,”Welcome to Nowhere”

Lost in a world that seems so alien
The streets in ruin and bare
Hope seems only like a folktale in this empty world
Darkness and pain is all you know
Life seems like a far away dream
Abandoned in darkness
No light to guide you
Death seems like the only solution
But you forgotten that you are already dead.

By:Eddie Palacios