Web of Loneliness Poems

Poems of the Lonely

House of Mirrors

She spends her days
In a house of mirrors.
Each image is real, yet
Each is false.
Each image is
Reflected into
Her frightened eyes
By a mirror, warped
And twisted, by
Past beliefs that are not,
And never were,
True.

She can’t see her own
Wondrous Light
Beauty and,
Immeasurable
Worth,
Something we each possess
As human beings,
To shine on each other,
And light up our world.
These mirrors she constructed
Constantly and consistently
Lie to her, and she only sees a
Pathetic, worthless failure
In them.

Where might she find
A true reflection
Of herself in this
House of false reflections?
Perhaps in
The eyes of those who
Care about her, and
Love her?
There she might glimpse the truth
About her real, whole self.
A truth she
Dares not discover,
For fear that it will just be
A confirmation of
What she already knows:

That she is an unlovable monster
With nothing of any value
In herself
To offer anyone!

Why is it so much easier for many of us,
Like her,
To live with the certainty of painful lies,
And punish ourselves for what we are not,
Than risk the uncertainty of
Glimpsing the unknown truths
About our unknowable selves?

EVOLving

                           “When I enter your sights
You see a man with his Mother’s height
And his Father’s might
Therefore, I’m the strong silent type
The pen expresses my heart’s joy & fright
Life is what I write
Letting my dreams take flight
In the dark of the night
Only to return in the day when its bright
There is a lot of gray area, no black & white
I used to believe in honesty
Now I see modesty is the best policy
Time will tell who truly respects & honors me
I just have to love myself solidly
                        No room for possibly
Although, I can make space for probably
Emotions can’t be reasoned with logically
Balancing admiration from the public
Along with rejection is a little hard to stomach
The question that I find to be the toughest…
Do I really know what love is?
Sometimes I feel like my answer is rubbish
Only I should master my puppet
Every morning I try to awake to trumpets
Allowing hope to flare, but then I blunder it
Seeking refuge until the lightning & thunder quits
However, the rain persists
A necessity in order to wash away the pain that exists.” 
by E. Bassey

Here I am

Justin Swerdloff

 

 

A tight room,

Four walls,

A ceiling,
And a floor.

No windows,

No furniture,

Not even a door.

Basking in darkness,

Ignoring the pain.

It’s been so long,

But I’m home again.

Shadows whisper to each other,

They call me their brother.

It’s been so long

Since I’ve been here,

So long,

Since I’ve let go of fear.

The doubts slip away

As I embrace the shade.

I let myself go,

And everything starts to fade.

Cold and Alone

Justin Swerdloff

 

 

Eyes so blue,

They’ll freeze your soul.

Blood full of ice,

A heart of stone –

Cold and alone!

Winter means nothing,

When your gaze can chill.

Deep rooted hate,

A mind unknown –

Cold and alone!

When you feel,

You know it’s real.

When you see,

You believe.

When you hear,

It’s all so clear.

When you taste,

There’s no time to waste.

Eyes so empty,

They’ll break your spirit.

Frozen veins,

Filled with pain.

A heart of stone,

And a mind unknown.

Thoughts of darkness,

When you’re cold and alone!

Light

Shining light within me,

why can’t I see you?

Why do you allude me so?

when I search so high and low for you

in the cracks and the cloaked spaces of myself.

I need to know that I am not only bad,

that I am not only here to destroy and break

the precious and beautiful  accepts that surround me.

I’m a little scratched and a little bruised and nicked

and a little tattered at the seams,

no I’m not proud of it but its true.

I’m trying to put myself back together

but it’s so easy to break

and the needle weaves in and out

hoping it holds tight this time.

I will find the light,

I need to,

hidden in the shadows of my own beings.

Light, I need you.

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